Utah on film

A collection of film taken in Park City, Salt Lake City and Zion National Park, along with some relevant thoughts.

Currently reading through Brené Brown’s Altas of the Heart.

I’ve been traveling through all the emotions she dissects in the book. Vulnerability, excitement, boredom, hopelessness. Nostalgia was one that caught me by surprise. I always pictured nostalgia as a romantic, reminiscent word. One that takes us back to relive sweet memories we once were so present with. But Brené defines nostalgia as a yearning for the way things used to be in our often idealized and self-protected version of the past. (p. 79)

Nostalgia is talked about as being deceptive and contradictory. I would like to know Brené’s thoughts on reminisce then. (Brené if you’re reading this, what is the difference?)

I found myself caught in a deep loop of nostalgia, reminisce whatever you want to call it, about a year ago. I don’t think it was the healthy kind though. I think it made me set up standards for people and experiences that were unrealistic and unlikely to be experienced in the same way again. Therefore, setting these expectations had a big chance of a let down in the future. And fun fact… it did. I still do this to myself today. So caught up in the past, I wasn’t present.

Okay, but here is where I have experienced a love and playfulness. Call it a positive remembrance of who I am. I hiked to a mountain lake this fall and was instantly brought back to memories of my childhood. I literally felt like I was a kid again, hiking through aspen trees in Tahoe, California. I realized for years I haven’t reflected on who I was because I was so focused on creating a successful future. A success I subconsciously told myself I haven’t experienced before.

Broke out my notes and just had to jot this down:

Things don’t always move in forward motions.

We are not meant to constantly climb stairs.

We are in constant flow and adjustments of remembering who we are and what matters to us.

If we are focusing too much on the future, we are forgetting what really matters to us and what parts of us have already been created.

Those parts are meant to be building blocks of who we really are.

These thoughts of nostalgia and deceptiveness are present with me now as I navigate new and unfortunately, the same kind of challenges I’ve faced in life before. (We’re still learning and growing over here.)

Through life experiences, our thoughts change, our memories are shaped in light of new lessons and information, but I still think we should never forget those present feelings we had at the time. Those feelings that the body stores within us to protect us or remind us the truth of who we are.

Ironically, these thoughts coincide with me posting these photos I captured on film. These photos are good memories, with good friends. These photos hold good conversation, laughter and health.

I wouldn’t call these photos nostalgic or reminiscent. Just pure joy.

When I’m older, maybe their meaning will change as my wisdom and experience changes too.